Rethinking Self-Esteem: An ACT Perspective

In a world that places immense value on self-esteem, it's common to hear advice centred on boosting one's self-worth to achieve happiness and success. However, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) challenges the notion that focusing on self-esteem is always beneficial. Let's delve into why ACT take a different stance and explore the research that supports this perspective.

Self-esteem refers to the overall subjective emotional evaluation of one's own worth. While high self-esteem is often associated with positive outcomes like greater happiness and resilience, the pursuit of self-esteem can lead to several unintended consequences:

Conditional Self-Worth: Maintaining high self-esteem often makes one's sense of worth conditional upon successes and external validation. This can result in fluctuating self-worth depending on circumstances.

Fear of Failure: To preserve self-esteem, individuals might avoid challenges and potential failures, leading to missed opportunities for growth and learning.

Social Comparison: Focusing on self-esteem can drive unhealthy comparisons with others, fostering feelings of inadequacy and jealousy.

According to Baumeister et al. (2003), a review of 20000 research studies concluded, "We have not found evidence that boosting self-esteem causes benefits." This highlights the ineffectiveness of self-esteem interventions in creating lasting positive change.

In addition to the points above, further evidence suggests the pitfalls of self-esteem and the advantages of self-acceptance:

Self-Esteem and Narcissism: Research by Twenge and Campbell (2009) found that high self-esteem can sometimes lead to narcissistic behaviours, where individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others. This can damage relationships and lead to social isolation.

Stability of Self-Worth: Self-esteem is often based on external factors, making it unstable. In contrast, self-acceptance provides a more stable and enduring sense of self-worth. A study by MacInnes (2006) found that self-acceptance was positively correlated with well-being and negatively correlated with depression and anxiety.

Psychological Flexibility: Self-acceptance enhances psychological flexibility, which is the ability to adapt to changing circumstances and unconditionally accept oneself. Kashdan and Rottenberg (2010) found that psychological flexibility is key to mental health and well-being.

Several studies have supported the ACT perspective, highlighting the limitations of focusing on self-esteem:

Self-Esteem and Psychological Distress: Research has shown that efforts to boost self-esteem can sometimes increase psychological distress. For instance, Crocker and Park (2004) found that the pursuit of self-esteem can lead to greater stress, anger, and relationship problems.

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem: Neff (2011) demonstrated that self-compassion is a more stable and reliable source of self-worth than self-esteem. Unlike self-esteem, self-compassion does not rely on external validation and is less susceptible to the negative effects of failure and criticism.

ACT and Well-Being: Studies on ACT interventions have shown improvements in psychological flexibility, which is staying in contact with the present moment and acting according to one's values, even in the face of negative thoughts and feelings. This flexibility is linked to better mental health outcomes compared to high self-esteem alone.

Here are some actionable steps based on ACT principles that can help you focus on self-acceptance, self-compassion and living according to your values:

Mindfulness Practice: Engage in mindfulness exercises to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Find out more about mindfulness and mindfulness meditation…

Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle and understanding with yourself, especially during times of failure or difficulty. Instead of self-criticism, respond to your struggles with the same empathy you would offer to a friend. This helps maintain a stable sense of self-worth. Practice self-compassion techniques, such as a self-compassion journal or compassionate letter writing. Find out more about keeping a self-compassion journal…

Cultivate Self-Acceptance: Accepting oneself unconditionally, including both strengths and weaknesses, fosters a more stable and resilient sense of self. Self-acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing all aspects of oneself without judgment.

Understand Big I, Little I: Recognise the distinction between the "Big I" (your whole self) and the "Little I" (specific aspects or performances). The "Big I" represents your entire being, which is complex and multifaceted, while the "Little I" refers to specific behaviours, achievements, or failures. This helps you in preventing setbacks from defining your overall self-worth. Find out more about embracing the Big I, letting go of the Little i's: a journey to true identity

Commit to Values: ACT encourages defining and committing to personal values rather than external markers of success. This leads to actions that are meaningful and fulfilling, regardless of the outcome. Find out more about values in this first of three linked posts

While the pursuit of self-esteem has its place, it's essential to recognise its potential downsides. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy offers a compelling alternative by advocating for self-compassion and value-driven living. We can foster a more resilient and authentic sense of self by shifting our focus from self-esteem to these more stable and intrinsic sources of self-worth.

References

Baumeister, R. F., Campbell, J. D., Krueger, J. I., & Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does high self-esteem cause better performance, interpersonal success, happiness, or healthier lifestyles? Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 4(1), 1-44.

Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 392-414.

Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865-878.

MacInnes, D. L. (2006). Self-esteem and self-acceptance: An examination into their relationship and their effect on psychological health. Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing, 13(5), 483-489.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1-12.

Oliver, J., & Bennett, R. (2020). The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem: Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy to Move Beyond Negative Self-Talk & Embrace Self-Compassion. New Harbinger Publications

Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.