Embracing Constructive Wallowing

During the challenging times of the pandemic, I came across a book that profoundly resonated with me: Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them by Tina Gilbertson. This book's approach to dealing with negative emotions aligns beautifully with the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), and my particular approach to hypnotherapy, offering a compassionate and practical method for emotional healing and growth.

Constructive wallowing is the process of allowing ourselves to fully experience and express negative emotions without judgment or suppression. Instead of pushing away uncomfortable feelings, it encourages us to embrace them, understand their roots, and move through them in a healthy way.

Key principles of constructive wallowing include:

Self-Compassion: Treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding as we would a friend.

Non-Judgmental Awareness: Observing our emotions without labelling them as 'good' or 'bad.'

Emotional Validation: Acknowledging that our feelings are valid and deserve to be felt.

So, how do you constructively wallow? Here are some suggested steps to follow when you're feeling in a funk, and they can be used for any difficult emotion:

1. Find a Safe Space: Create a comfortable environment where you can express your emotions without interruption.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Identify and name your emotions. Say to yourself, "I notice the feeling of…"

3. Allow Yourself to Feel: Give yourself permission to fully experience your emotions without rushing to fix or change them.

4. Reflect with Compassion: Reflect on why you might be feeling this way, treating yourself with kindness and understanding.

5. Express Your Emotions: Write, talk, or even cry if you need to. Let the emotions flow.

6. Return to the Present: Once you have allowed yourself to feel, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Practice mindfulness or grounding techniques.

7. Incorporate Relaxation: Use deep breathing, guided imagery, or self-hypnosis techniques to enhance relaxation and emotional processing.

Constructive wallowing offers a powerful and holistic approach to emotional health. You can navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and authenticity by accepting and validating your emotions, practising mindfulness and self-compassion, and utilising therapeutic techniques to explore deeper emotional layers. Embrace your feelings, honour your journey, and take meaningful steps towards a fulfilling life.